Thanks SM and 1 Day for your input. I do not live near my mother. When I visited for a week at Christmas, my aunt (who had just had gall bladder surgery) and uncle sat me down for a talk about my mother.

She is isolating. She refuses to visit doctors and, if she goes, she doesn't take their advice. She has a reputation for being someone that you "just can't talk to." Very stubborn. I was elected by the family to intervene about 3 years ago, and flew home to take her to a doctor.

I pointed out that my mother's refusal to make friends, get out of the house, do something besides smoke cigs and watch TV, goes back 30 years, and that I'm sorry that she doesn't want to leave her home and do anything, but I don't know what to do about it.

"Don't take this on you," my aunt said. "I've always said that God helps those who help themselves."

When I'm with my mother, I can see how far I've come from the legacy of negativity and paraonoia. Just as I inherited these from mother, I've also inherited brains and a certain amount of beauty (when I was younger), a common sense approach to life, some pretty good values and ideals.

I love my mother very much but asking her not to talk about how she sees the world is not a boundary I'm willing to draw at this time.

I think your advice was sensible, though. Maybe when I see my T next week, I'll talk about this.