Quote:
Originally Posted by Lostislost
I mistakenly thought that therapy would fix me. I spent more than a decade seeing bad therapists, then found a good one that I have been with for 7 years. I think my goal was to become ‘normal’, a goal that I soon found out was not attainable.
I have had many life changes in this time, changes jobs, left people behind, gained new people that also did not stick around. So I think I may have changed, yet I am still stuck with some patterns that just do not go away. It seems to be based on luck at this point, like who I meet and what opportunities I get.
My therapist no longer guides the way, in terms of trying to get me to see my job is crap or the people around me don’t love me. I know that now. So I go there weekly and complain that I’m lonely, I’m struggling being a mum, that I have no prospects. He listens. I leave. Same again next week. Time to give up?
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This is why I have never benefited myself from straight talk therapy - even when cognitive behavioral tools were utilized (homework, journaling, etc.).
It sounds to me like you already know that you want to leave this therapist because time with him wastes your time, since he doesn't really help you make changes.
I support you leaving this therapist to find a better therapist or a different modality that will help you make the changes you seek in your life. Don't stay with a bad therapist. That is like justifying staying in a toxic relationship with a family member, friend, or romantic connection. Therapist relationships are not exempt. If the therapist is toxic or unhelpful then you have every right to leave.