((((KIM))))),
I know this is really unnerving and painful.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
i need to have boundaries around him now so that i can move on from him. he has made it clear that he isn't prepared to commit to me so i need to accept that and move on.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

He won't commit to you in the way that you desire, but he is still your therapist. He has to be objective in order to help you, and appears to be committed to that

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
wish... i could save my heart for someone who feels that way about me (for someone who is prepared to commit to being with me and to making things work and to sticking around when times get tough and doing the necessary work so that we can have a healthy relationship). i wish i could save my heart for that... that i didn't love these men who are not in the position to reciprocate. i wish that i didn't love them. caring about them is okay... but i wish that i didn't give them the power to affect me so...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I can't be sure, but it sounds like the feelings that you have for your T are transference. If you look in the paragraph you typed above, you desperately want to get what your Father never gave you. I know well how painful this is. It is a long journey, but one that will help you mourn for what you didn't get and then be able to move on. Don't push your T away, he is a safe base for you now while you work through these issues. I wish you the best of luck. Take care.