Like Christina said, it all depends on your motive--and whether or not you want to change these patterns of behavior.
Try to treat yourself with love and respect. But in order to do that, you must surround yourself with people who love and respect you. From past experience, I know how tough these patterns of behavior are to break. Believe in yourself and keep reaching out.
With love and support,
  
J
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"One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to stregthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair."
-Bertrand Russell
With love and hope,
<~/J\~>
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