Quote:
Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam
you say `no real connections` and say that there are men that you are friends with. I am confused.
Also, have you personally ever felt sexual attraction?
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Even the people I stay in touch with in social media I still don't really trust. I've had men that I keep in touch with that view me as an object.
I am in a real relationship. I have "some" connection towards my partner but it's not really as strong as it should be.
I was sexually abused 12-15, by an ex family member, my teen stepbrother and my mom told me not to tell anyone what was happening at school or to authorities. Even though my mom is divorced she still supports him, which I hold a grudge against my mother to this day. I don't have happy moments of my childhood because I was emotionally, psychologically, sexually and physically abused growing up, even my needs and emotions were neglected.
In my teens I developed a pornography addiction and then 18 was when I gave into my social naivete to have sex with different people. I was used over and over again by other men who didn't want a relationship with me, and would lie so they could use me for gratification.
I enjoyed it at first because I was hypersexual, but then over time I started getting hurt emotionally and then I didn't really care for it that much anymore.
I'm in my first healthy and real relationship now, and it's been 5 years. I hope to marry him soon. We really are committed and love each other. My relationship with sex is alright, I think my partner and I have become more asexual with the both of us as the years go by. We get pleasure from emotional bonding more than anything.