Yes, it's very difficult to find a full, all encompassing explanation as to 'why' it is this way BubonicPlague, and I totally understand that seemingly endless inner dilemma. The ultimate answer I don't think can be gauged by we humans, so I tell myself that it's simply the way people are, and I myself prior to my journey of self growth have (and often still do) fall short of the mark. But finding that connection, that one true friend (to begin with) is still always a possibility. I meet nice, considerate, thoughtful people quite frequently and so I'm at the stage now where, from that point, it's just a matter of nurturing the initial connection and inviting them to hang out, do something cool together (which I did today and I'm very happy about that). So just don't lose hope that things will fall into place for you. Yes, let those frustrations out though, the tears even. That is very normal.🙏