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CANDC · Sep 20, 2023 at 12:20 PM

@SpaghettiLegs I am sorry that you are experiencing verbal and emotional abuse in your relationship. No one should have to go through that.

The problem with verbal and emotional abuse is it is possible for it to escalate into physical abuse. It is difficult to say when enough is enough. That is a highly personal decision you must make. To me physical abuse it is time to get out of there. Not sure which of these might be appropriate, but there are options:
There are a few support sites at the end of this post which is very informative Violence Against Women in the Netherlands: Where to Find Help! | DutchReview

I think that site has better info that I can give for dealing with the outside.

Dealing with the inside, I try not to react. It takes two to Tango so if I do not feed their anger it dies out.

When I can I get away from the angry person "Have to go to the loo. Hold that thought."

Agree with the person no matter what insults they hurl but counter with something you do well.

Remain silent. Focus on something else so you do not have them in your field of vision or look at them peripherally.

Feel your body and try to not stiffen up and feel your feet connected to the ground. This is a much stronger posture.

Not knowing the situation, I only gave things that work for me. Hope you find a way through this situation.

If there is a therapy option in your area or a women's shelter, maybe that would help to have someone to talk to especially if you are scared or feeling worn down by their abusive behavior.

Spend as little time as possible with them and do things that strengthen you during those times like all these are free on youtube: exercise, dance, Adrienne yoga on youtube, 5 Minute Tai Chi on youtube

Keep reaching out here. We care about you. @CANDC