Well, I did it. Things ended with guy #1 and I am not staying in a hotel with him in a couple of weeks. I learned he's already paid for the hotel though... ugh! So, he has a room and spent $200 on it for us. I felt bad telling him last night that I couldn't go. At the end of the night, I asked him if I could kiss him goodbye, and he said no. This is after telling him that something happened last weekend with guy #2 while camping.

What is wrong with me?

I told him that if we lived closer, I would want to date him. I also told him that I feel we have some sort of unspoken, deeper connection, whenever I look at him in the eyes. We DO have a connection of sorts, I can feel it. It's intense. And our attraction to each other is unmistakable.

However, I feel lighter this morning and more free, so I know it was the right thing to do.

I told guy #2 that I was going to stop pursuing things with guy #1. HIs response was that he no longer has competition. Yesterday he told me he is crushing hard on me. I feel the same way, but there's still so much to get to know about each other.

What a messy situation, but I think I've handled it as best as I could. I was open and honest with both men and cut one loose as soon as things started heating up with one guy more than the other.

I think I also have some feelings developing or stirring for guy #2. There's chemistry between us. He told me he is very attached to me.... I feel I am becoming attached to him. I do like him.

That being said, I had wanted one more kiss with guy #1, just to say goodbye. That couldn't happen and I respect that. I still wanted it.