You've been here before and it has never ended well. I know it is hard to get treatment in Scotland but I think for your own sake you need to reach out to your pdoc and let them know exactly what you are telling us. Do everything you can to get their attention including showing up at the office and sitting in the waiting room until someone pays attention to you. This is what happens when you cycle and you need help to get out of it. This is the point you can stop it but when you start having phone sex is when things are getting pretty out of control for you.

Can you call the community health program (I can't remember the real name) that you were involved with before? They'll know your history too and maybe can help you get medication help.

I'm glad you feel safe enough to tell us what is going on here. Please keep talking to us. We are better than nothing! I think!