CR broke his pinky on Monday playing some dumb game with his friends. I’m not clear on the details but I believe it involves trying to smack the top of the other person’s head and when he came down for the snack he slammed his pinky into his locker. That’s karma for you I guess. Anyway, it’s just a small fracture but I have to take him to an orthopedic dr on Tuesday to follow up. I’ll have to take a half day at work. I have ECT on Monday so I guess it’s good that the next day I’ll only have a half day, even though I’m usually fine the next day.

I asked my therapist what her recommendation was for the maintenance ECT since I really don’t want to have to get zapped once a month for the rest of my life. She said keep going through the school year and if I make it all the way through the winter and school year stable, not having to take time off, I can consider giving it up for the summer. I’ll agree with that. RS doesn’t want me to give it up, he’s afraid I’ll destabilize and end up IP again. Frankly, I am too. I’d love to make it a whole year with no IP stays. That will be the first since 2021. And the only reason I didn’t go IP in 2020 was because of Covid. I still had to do virtual IOP.

I dropped the propranolol. My watch was telling me my average resting heart rate was only 55 bpm. I decided to experiment with going off it to see if the tachycardia would return and my resting heart rate is averaging in the high 60s/low 70s. I think since I’ve cut way down in nicotine (with the intention of quitting as soon as this current vape pod runs out) it may have lowered my heart rate. Plus the regular exercise, though that’s been hard to keep up with now that I’m working. Anyway, I’m going to drop the lexapro as well (I’m only on 5mg) and see if my depression remains at bay. Then I’ll only be on three meds. I’ll never stop lamictal or haldol and I don’t sleep without seroquel so I’ll probably have to remain on three but three is better than five. There was a magical year when I was only on two, lamictal and depakote. But I will never go off my AP again, not after that horrific episode in 2022.

We have a tropical cyclone thing coming this weekend, heavy rain and wind all weekend. I’m going to challenge CR to a game of phase ten and invite him to watch Halloween movies with us. I’m going to ensure we have food for all three meals on Saturday and Sunday as we usually eat out and I don’t want to go out, nor will I feel right about ordering delivery and expecting someone else to drive in that weather. It’s not that we don’t have food, it’s that we need a plan, otherwise no one knows what they want to eat. I have to plan meals. I also want to look up some meal prep ideas so I can make lunches for the week, when I’m on my lunch break I want the least amount of time and effort possible. Making meals ahead and just being able to pop them in the microwave will help for sure. Now to see if I have enough containers!