The kids are doing way, way better.

I'm a good dad. That job, that role, that responsibility matters to me. My daughter has, I believe, a learning disability related to math. I think she is dysgraphic. Sitting and working with her matters. Caring for her matters. Because I don't have all the answers for her, I've taken her to a teen sexual health clinic several times now to ask questions. She isn't sexually active, but I want to make sure she's safe.

My son can do brakes, steering, suspension, and bearing work as good as any mechanic now. As for getting stuck and getting out, he understands tow ratings, hitch ratings, how to find the rated strength of tow straps, slings, and shackles, and how to account for shock loads. I was his coach in his sport for a long time and now is often asked to be a fitness leader doing drills with the Reserves. He's pursuing a technical trade in the military so this skill set for him is quite different.

I'm very up-front with them too. I tell them, I'm the only coach they will ever have who knows them intimately. I've said, I'm watching for learned and innate things they've gotten from their mom. Accountability matters, being empathetic matters, owning mistakes and accepting responsibility matters, covering over mistakes to maintain a facade is WRONG, face it and do better, and you'll be stronger.

I'm a good dad. I never understood, but I thought that *should* have had some effect on how my wife regarded me, and even her attraction to me. I felt like in a different relationship it would have.


The more I learn, the more I know she was a covert narcissist. We were each given an assessment scale for covert narcissistic traits. We each scored 47/50, and each agreed on the same three points.

My wife is a beautiful woman, who CONSTANTLY sought compliments through negging herself.

I think being on dating apps and seeking that superficial validation with no responsibilities, and being able to constantly spin the victim story will work well for her.

RDMercer