Quote:
Originally Posted by Discombobulated
I get anxious around friendships. It’s a form of social anxiety I think, but I have no problem leaving the house and talking to people, it’s closer interactions I get stressed about.
I do overthink at times, and I question myself a lot. Although I really like some people I find it hard to really believe they could like me all that much back. When they don’t reply or go quiet for a while I tend to think that it was bound to happen. It does happen quite a bit.
I do have some suspicion I have autistic traits, and social ease doesn’t come naturally to me - interactions can exhaust me. I work hard at saying the right things is the best way to describe it, while still authentically being myself as much as possible (if I’m relaxed I can go on about subjects that fascinate me and know not everyone will want to hear so I try to reign it in). I might add I am a good listener and do focus on what others are saying, in fact sometimes I can get overwhelmed by people who talk a lot.
Sometimes I wonder if friendship isn’t for me, I have written this on here before and people said that was negative thinking, but it’s what I think. I am very fond of several people but it feels stressful sometimes trying to figure out interactions.
Maybe it’s pragmatic rather than negative thinking to think maybe it isn’t for me? Do some people live perfectly content lives with no close friends and acquaintances only?
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I believe that is IS pragmatic rather than negative thinking about friendships. Society has programmed us to shun anything/anyone who doesn't conform to social norms.
Well, not everyone requires friendship to thrive. And that doesn't mean they have a mental illness, in my humble opinion.
I have always been a veery outgoing introvert. That personality style (INFJ) is veery difficult for some people to adjust to and accept.
Trying to figure out other people's social cues isn't necessarily autistic (although it could be). There are health conditions (not related to mental illness) that contribute to people's difficulty reading social cues.
And, it could also be related to social anxiety disorder too. I'm just thinking out loud and brainstorming causes of social anxiety, since I suffer from that myself.
Social Cues: What They Are and How to Read Them
Friendship may or may not be for you or me in the way it works for most people. That doesn't negate our need for social connection with others, either.
Everyone is different in that sense.
For instance, I despise text messaging (as I have complained in my threads on PC). So, I tend not to forge friendships with people whose communication preference is via email, instant messaging or text messaging. I prefer face to face or phone communication. Finding those same types of people is difficult, but I know they have to be out there.
Find out what your preferences are and let people know so that you can choose whether or not to invest your time getting to know that person based on their preferneces. Does that help at all?