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Discombobulated · Sep 22, 2023 at 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motts

I believe that is IS pragmatic rather than negative thinking about friendships. Society has programmed us to shun anything/anyone who doesn't conform to social norms.

Well, not everyone requires friendship to thrive. And that doesn't mean they have a mental illness, in my humble opinion.

I have always been a veery outgoing introvert. That personality style (INFJ) is veery difficult for some people to adjust to and accept.

Trying to figure out other people's social cues isn't necessarily autistic (although it could be). There are health conditions (not related to mental illness) that contribute to people's difficulty reading social cues.

And, it could also be related to social anxiety disorder too. I'm just thinking out loud and brainstorming causes of social anxiety, since I suffer from that myself.

Social Cues: What They Are and How to Read Them

Friendship may or may not be for you or me in the way it works for most people. That doesn't negate our need for social connection with others, either.
Everyone is different in that sense.

For instance, I despise text messaging (as I have complained in my threads on PC). So, I tend not to forge friendships with people whose communication preference is via email, instant messaging or text messaging. I prefer face to face or phone communication. Finding those same types of people is difficult, but I know they have to be out there.

Find out what your preferences are and let people know so that you can choose whether or not to invest your time getting to know that person based on their preferneces. Does that help at all?

This is a very interesting post to me, thanks. You raise very good points about not necessarily needing friends and not necessarily having a mental illness or condition. I do think I have a tendency to want to identify what it is about me that makes me behave in a certain way!

Not surprisingly I know my Myers-Briggs too and I’m ISFJ which possibly explains why your posts often make such good sense to me! We’re described as sociable introverts and that describes me very well. Very interested in people and human nature, but liking alone space very much.

When I was a child I would play with others but my preference was the make believe space in my room, on my own. My mother would worry about this and heavily try to coax me outside to play games that were louder more unpredictable and boisterous than I wanted. The more she coaxed the more I got to feel there was something wrong with me…. Why didn’t I want to play those loud outdoor games like the others? I just wanted to stay in my make believe space or drawing.

I don’t think now that I was wrong. Just a little different to many others.