Not having a circle of friends is a huge deficit in any human being's life. It's part of how we are meant to live, since we are social animals. We're also meant to be part of an extended family. Our ancestors, going back to the stone age, evolved as members of a family clan and as members of a village. You have neither. Your mother's pattern gave you no stable family connection. And, what's worse - you got victimized by a relative. Being geographically uprooted all thru childhood is also not what humans were built for. So you are unmoored socially. There's no circle of support. The task of remedying that is beyond huge. I can relate somewhat. I moved thousands of miles from family, which I'm paying for now. Building friendship has never come natural to me either. So I cope with an unnatural degree of isolation.

One big thing you have going for you is that you've found a significant other. That's a major accomplishment. You can build around that. I don't say that's easy. And it can be an extremely slow process . . . fraught with setbacks. I've lost some friends due to some moving far away. People don't stay put. I'll try to think of positive advice to give and come back here with it.

Here's one thing I have found. Young men who are single and looking for a partner really have little interest in forming platonic relationships with attractive young women. There's been lots of threads in this forum started by women who became appalled when some male friend they trusted to keep things platonic came on to them sexually. I think we have to accept certain realities of human nature. I think couples do well to look to befriend other couples. The problem there is that you have 4 people who all have to like each other. A couple who appeal to you may not appeal to your partner. A couple might like your partner and have less interest in you. So it can get tricky. Still, I don't think socializing for a couple can ever be the same as it was for those two people when they were unattached to each other. You do become sort of a package deal.

To conclude, if you're saying that the world is a messed up place, you'll get no argument from me. Interacting with other humans can be very disappointing an awful lot of the time.