I always had a sense of who I was & where I was going & what my goals were more in general than specific. The specifics developed with time. I always enjoyed music & performing from when I was in grade school.....but then I knew I needed a real career to earn money to take care of myself. That degree & career became my identity & when that field crashed in the 1990's it was like I lost who I was even though I still had music & loved to do crafts.
Fast forward 13 years after losing my career I finally bought a small farm & was out of the bad marriage I had been in & fighting for what I knew was right all the time. It was only then (at 54+) that I finally had the peace in my life to figure out myself & what I believed & what I really thought about everything instead of fighting against or apeasing someone else. Now I am busy with my farm & animal care including the wild animals around when needed. I do farm sitting for people. My interests moved from computer engineering to animal care & feel so much peace internally I know I am in the right place for me. I know my values & I don't compromise for anyone. It they don't like it then leave. When someone causes a lack of peace in my life, I analyze the situation & can easily end that relationship. I don't have to be what I am not for anyone & knowing my own values, beliefs & boundaries I will tolerate has given me a real good knowledge of myself. Hobbies are just a part of what I do but they do not define who I am. I took up painting, something I hated all my life & when I have time in my life I do it. My farm & a new puppy keeps me really busy right now. Have some major foundation repairs that need done around my garage & then really want to set up a chicken coop just for enough eggs for me & my friends. I am very self sufficient with many repairs & maintenance things around my farm & I basically try everything & accept things I can't do or don't have the tools for.....all part of accepting my own limitations while holding onto my values & knowing what I like & don't like which helps me be in better control over things others try to get me to do. I know the kind of socializing I like & know what I don't like & that is what I base what I do on. I am involved in groups I know I can make a difference through given the experiences I have lived through. I have to set priorities in my life & they do help define how much time I have for outside activities & I never feel guilty when I have to say "no" to something. All these aspects to life are about figuring your own self out & not basing who you are or what you like on anyone else. Lol....I did such a happy dance in my kitchen of my farm when I went to the grocery store & filled it with ONLY foods that I liked. I love my life & feel totally at peace with myself even when dealing with tough situations. I personally (for me) believe that this was what knowing myself was all about. It took about 10 years of Good therapy to figure it out & process all the crap I went through before moving here & integrating my past into my new present but for the first time in my life I am truly happy