Hey Muddy Boots.

I agree with your therapist saying it's because of growing up in the survival mode. It's an insightful way to look at it.

If I'm understanding you right, another way of saying it is 'How do I find out "who I am"'? If so, then, one thing I learned in my journey which instantly resonated with me in so many ways (because no one had ever said this to me) was essentially 'You are valid. Your views and opinions your voice is valid' meaning it's absolutely okay to express them, if you so wish. It may take practice and effort and that is ok. It was a big step in the path of self discovery for me. I was 29 then. And another thing was: Using great self honesty and introspection, 'what do you really like (you touched on this), what do you really like and dislike especially regarding things in life and the world? Again, that coupled with my understanding of being a valid individual was very very important. Later on as time went by I began to refine those things more with ethics and morality very much in mind, as a guide to courses of action, behaviours let's say.

That's essentially it for me in terms of figuring myself out. It does take time obviously (which I have) but as Lao Tzu the Taoist philosopher said many centuries ago (and you may have heard this quote) "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". It's an important journey, life. It is.