Update
I felt so bored and alone at unit that threw caution to the wind and caught the bus to local shops. I am in some pain and sitting on bench. I wanted to prove that I can do it despite having those stupid internal thought in my head. At least I am in a social situation and not all alone ar the unit with my dear sweet little kitty. I love her so much she is the best thing i have in my life. Anyhow i have 3 weeks to get myself in a good mindset cos I got nieces birthday in few weeks time. It's a cocktail party, loud music, DJ, dancing, engaging in mindless small talk with people that I hardly know. Have never been to a cocktail party so I don't know what to expect i am trying to find strategies that i can use to help me cope.