Well I did tell T about "The dream". I guess at times I think T automatically knows all my fantasys and feelings and realised today that T doesn't know everything about me unless I tell her...I felt she was trying her best to help me work out this dream as she knew what a big step this was for me to tell, but then again, perhaps Im putting thoughts into her mind?...the session didn't go the way I had expected it to go, infact I ended up crying with 3mins to go and normally I begin crying at beginning of the session...I think it was because T has already said, that I learnt to become passive in relation to my adoptive mother, that was the only way she would except me...and the dream of T doing all the things to me and me being "passive" in the dream...oh I talked about my thoughts on whether I am a lesbian? and how I imagine a woman falling in love with and loving me absolutely and me using my body as the only means I could think of to keep her with me...but in reality I said, all I really want is to hold a womans hand and go for a walk...oh its so hard to say all what was said here....but I ended up because I talked so openly today, of waking up yearnings and the having to feel the pain of the emptyness and I told T why? see? why did I talk? now I hurt? I just want to go to sleep so I dont have to remember or feel...I said I feel like the child I was once that was desperate to be touched by the nurses in hospital and having to feign sleep and hold my arm out so they'd touch me and then when they did, I did it again...T said you couldnt hold it the feeling of being touched? I said NO!...then with tears my last words today, were why did I talk? T said, because you become aware of your feelings and ALSO make me aware and then one day you will be able to hold onto me holding your hand even when I;m not there...*sigh