Also. me and my new guy ran into my ex's best friend on Sat night at the show.

I felt awkward and it put a damper on the evening for me a bit. My ex's friend was friendly and nice towards me and wished me all the best, but it made me think of my abusive ex husband, which put a dark cloud over me for a little while. I let it go quickly enough and was able to still have a good time, but the ghost of my ex husband still haunts me from time to time.

However, I am not going to stop going places I want to go and doing things I want to do simply because I may run into my ex or one of his friends. I refuse to give up the activities I enjoy the most and feel it is my right to pursue all that makes me happiest in life.

And going to live music shows makes me happiest. I am in my element. I get to dance and feel so free and liberated. Music is my therapy, literally. I can feel all the stress leaving me and after a show, all I feel is fulfilled and happy. So I am not giving this up because I have to deal with periodic awkwardness around my ex husband.

But I know the day will come eventually when I will run into my ex with a new girlfriend. And that will be the most awkward moment for me that I am dreading.

My ex has expressed to me that he cannot date and that he is still very much in love with me. That's what he wrote in his last email to me at least, in early August. I have. not heard from him since, and I didn't reply.

It's now over a month later and things could have changed for him. His friend saw me at the show with another man. The friend doesn't know if this man is just a friend or a date. I didn't introduce my date and they did not converse with each other.

He did look my date up and down. And what's really weird? My date's hair very closely resembles my ex's hair! Both have dark brown/black hair with silver streaks and a beard. Except my date has a full beard and long hair he wears in a ponytail, and my ex has short hair with a goatee.

I don't miss my ex. There are moments when a fonder memory comes to mind and I think back more positively on that moment. But I don't miss all the negativity and drama and having to constantly cater to my ex and take care of him. I played mom in my marriage - NOT the role I want. I want equality in my next relationship. My ex made me cater to him constantly.. every need, every ailment and every desire... my needs did not matter to him and so it was always about HIM. That grew old FAST.

And all the abuse and drama that came with my ex? NO THANK YOU. I am SD done with all of that. I deserve to be respected, period. And, I am not going to stick around with a male the moment he shows me any amount of disrespect or disregard. I am on alert for red flags.

If anyone is reading this thread, I would love some support around these issues. I feel like I am grappling with this all alone and it's not easy....

It's not easy to move forward and let go of all the emotional pain I experienced in the past. But I am. I am hopeful and optimistic that I will find the right person again....

I may have to meet many frogs before I meet the right one for a committed long-term relationship. I am very well aware of this and want to take my time getting to know someone.