What would an improved life even look like? I've been home 3 days now and it's pretty much been wake up, crave drugs/alcohol, use/drink around appointments (had one Monday and one Tuesday), and listen to music while sporadically coming on here. I mean, I'm in a relationship and the other girl is all "I love you I love you I've been thinking about you all day and all night I love you let's have phone sex," and I'm down for the phone sex, but my "love you too" that she forces out of me ("do you love me too? you do still love me right?") has no meaning because I couldn't give a shyt about her.
Literally all my non abusive relationships are like this. I actually prefer the abusive ones to this.