Flying internationally tomorrow morning, 2am Uber, 5am flight to a location south, same time zone. I've to my sort of nervousness, been going in and out of excitability and mild stupors through the afternoon. I am kind of nervous. And although my girlfriend has noticed some changes as well, I'm afraid that she doesn't know how severe things can get. I'm figuratively hoping to god that this trip doesn't land me somewhere, a "vacation" covered by insurance with stick socks and daily vital checks.

On the flip side... This should be a lot better than working, and after the travel is over hoping it's far less stressful. Just not sure what to expect and hoping my significant other is able to support if new versions of me are revealed. I'm usually the one calming her when anxious. I need her to be here for me this time.

But I might be overthinking. Technically I don't think I'm manic, just "excitable" for now. Just trying to think this through, thanks for reading