I used to cut and burn. But I havent done that in about eight months. But I still have the urge to hurt (not for pleasure, but for the same reasons I cut and burn, I feel like I deserve to be unhappy). I just dont want to do it to myself and feel guilty about it. Even though I still feel guilty about letting myself be a tool, I know its not me doing the direct part. I come from a heavy abusive backround and some of it has just recently ended. But I dont mean to let others hurt me, its not like i plan it all out. I just mingle with the wrong crowd and socialize with the wrong guys, knowing that there is a big chance of getting hurt. I want to change, but I dont know how.