I think there's allot to unpack here, because the overall issue is not what you can't help, but rather what you choose to value despite its shortcomings. Wanting to endorse your emotions over the value of your friendship with this individual is something you should reevaluate. There's a big difference between sharing and something inposed. Sharing is a place where both parties meet. Imposing is something forced upon another. You choosing to say things that you already know the other party is not wanting to discuss is really placing them in an uncomfortable situation where all of the consideration is being asked of them without any regard from you. Experience is not required here to notice those moments, so much as self awareness and some ownership for what it is you do. If you truly care for this person, then you must realize that respecting their space is a foundational starting point.

I can certainly respect how that emotion can conflict within you. But you always want to step back and see the bigger picture. Is the friendship of no value if its only being used as a vessel for something you want that they do not? That's a fair question and one you must ask yourself. I would also be careful about the desire to have kids. While that is something allot of us want out of life, its also one that comes at great cost, because it requires that you make yourself last in most matters . You have to bring allot of understanding to the table that a child needs from you. And its not when their three years old. Its often much later in life. Children can say allot of things through their course of growing up that will hurt, so you have to be in a better head space that is not so reactionary. Its very easy to want things in life we do not have, because we only see the upside from not having them. But there's allot of work that goes into not only getting these things you want, but taking care of them once you do have them. Your emotional gauge, which you currently say you can't help, is not going to aid you in those short or long term goals, until you learn to reel that in by understanding there's more than just one person in that room with those feelings. Everyone must be considered in that assessment. I wish you the best.