First you sound like a saint, keep your head up my bother. No man is perfect not any of us never any man was but also no person is perfect no woman so when you're criticized by your wife don't let it get you down, you sound like someone I'd be happy to be friends with. And I know what you're feeling I've been there, 20 years ago now. If I can give you advice, grab ahold of yourself every day and remind yourself or drill Sargent yourself if needed that you are A WONDERFUL AMAZING MAN! And remember the bravest thing a man can do is use his power to be kind.

Your wife's behavior is so strikingly similar to my ex wife's have you contacted a skilled psychologist who is familiar with personality disorders? I am not suggesting she has a personality disorder but that her behavior is remarkably consistent with what my ex's disorder is.

Have you asked her for a 30 minute meeting in the presence of a professional mediator to discuss the possibility of your staying together? Have you met with a marriage counselor?

Finally in my experience my #1 course of action was to keep strong, that was not at all an easy task, the idea was: to be a good father to my kids I needed to be strong within my self and devoid of animosity towards their mother (which was a HUGE herculean task for me) a psychologist told me "reason is your most important asset").

Just posting your words was a brave step! Hang tight and remember you're not alone many of us other guys are right there with you. God Bless.