Quick background my ex wife was diagnosed with BPD and from the start of our child raising time together would use foul language and disparaging remarks about me in front of our daughter apparently in an effort to have her dislike me and more importantly dis-respect me. This started when my daughter was 3 (and the time when her mother began physically abusing her).

It seems to have worked well and it's been a back and forth with my daughter who is now 30. Recently my daughter blew up at me because I forgot something (via text) and said "you don't deserve my respect you should be grateful I even talk to you. I have tried SO hard to be nice to you!"

I am certain that her mother has been "working on her" in the background to continue to encourage my daughter to shut me out of her life and at 30 I am really concerned that she is being successful in making not only that happen but in encouraging a general "angry bitter" attitude in my daughter. I'm afraid her mother's need to have a "drinking buddy" is so powerful that this will be terribly detrimental to my daughter's success in life.

So, I wanted to ask others how would you approach talking with your daughter in this situation.

Any comments are much appreciated. Thanks