When you reside in a space that is this dysfunctional where both parties are talking in another space not shared by the other, its time to ask yourself why you remain. We can all jump in from your assessment and pick a perspective on who is being more irresponsible here, but at the end of the day, that's not the remedy to your problem. Neither of you recognize the relationship as honest or respectful to the other. And why should it since both of you only see each other just to read the temperature in the room and then go back to your respective corners to talk about it to others. Neither one of you have a relationship here. There's a kind of co-dependency going on that wants to tolerate this broken bond that should have ended a long time ago. I think you need to be honest with yourself and quit looking for any more signs besides the ones on fire all around you. Just having another person in a space is not a relationship. Its just a place card for not wanting to be alone, so you tolerate the ramifications of not looking at life honestly. I think you need to re-evaluate the importance of your own life and understand you can stand alone and be much happier.