Today had to be a forced rest day. I have learnt from all the times at the gym I have pushed too much too soon.

I’ve been starting my days with gratitude and whilst overall I have been happier. The truth is I still missed you and I wished we could talk. At times I have hated you and wanted revenge, but it was just replaced by hurt.

You did give up me.

I am not sure if I have done much healing yet.

I am worried about my 23 year old cousin who is sick and sad for him.

You probably do not want a message from me, so this is day 74 without you.