Hi jak; we have never met in person, but I liked meeting you and chatting with you on the chat. Truth is what you say sounds like you assume being defeated, and I don't know enough about your situation and possible resources to give you sound advice, so may these ideas suffice:

1. Don't beat yourself too hard. Your thought influences who you are and people can feel when we are down, making it more difficult to establish meaningful relationships. Don't mind other people, try to boost your mood by doing something you can actually do... joining a taichi group did the trick for me, but I'm sure there are many other things you can do - and yes, taichi is very difficult and i suck at it, but that's not the point, I don't regret it.

2. I don't know about personal economic resources, but maybe getting the best specialist for your hand would be a good idea. What do your folks tell you about this? Should you reeducate your other non-dominant hand?

3. I like what my favorite psychologist said about getting lost in life: sometimes it's time to go back to the beginning. Is there anything you truly enjoyed as a child that you've been neglecting? Well, you're still young, but I've been reading a lot lately and that gives me peace when I feel stressed. Jogging is also a good idea, keep it up .

4. There are many people with broken hearts but few ready to mend our hearts just out of pure goodness. You can partly do it yourself though: you must know you still have value and you must not doubt it whatever the circumstances life throws at you. Have you considered some casual online language exchange or getting to know people close to your area? Maybe involving yourself in some campus activities you would normally not consider? I joined a chess club that met in a bar for some time...


5. When everything fails, there's always the option of looking for professional help. Maybe introducing now the expert advice of a therapist would be a good idea, what do you think?

Wishing this post cheered you up a bit, receive hugs and good wishes from Spain.