Here’s how things went with my aunt. She claimed my mom lied entirely about the history of sexual abuse to her new partner. I don’t know how my aunt came to this conclusion. Or how she knows this intricate detail in my mom’s personal relationship. She claims she lied because my mom would ask her not to talk about her ex when she visited with her new partner.

The case happened over 30 years ago so why it would get dragged out and discussed then seems a bit sus.

My aunt then said that my mom refused to be interviewed for the investigation and got the case dropped. Again, I didn’t know this for over 30 years.

My aunt seemed to blame my mom heavily for the relationship suggesting she ignored the warning signs. There is a bit of an element of mother blame.

Despite the case getting dropped social services was involved in counselling my family at the time, including my stepdad. Social services kind of worked with police on the case. I don’t think the police needed my mother’s testimony to move forward with the case. My mom’s actions in trying to keep family together in those moments didn’t belie someone who is an enabler or has something to hide.

Something just isn’t quite adding up.

The way my aunt told it it’s like you’d think this might have been useful information at the time everything happened, not 30 years later. The passage of time makes me wonder if she distorted some things in her mind.

When my mom died she told me I was just a very angry person, and that everyone thinks you’re just an angry person and that I shouldn’t be allowed to meet my mother’s partner at her cremation because I might say something to upset him. She told me he said I was just an angry person as well. I had Never met the man. She also claimed the day after my mother was cremated, “oh he wanted you to attend, but I told him it’s not my problem to tell you these things and it’s up to him to contact you.”

Afterwards I said I felt like information was deliberately mishandled to leave me out of the loop. I said her handling of the situation was hurtful and unacceptable. She kept telling me to talk to my brother who in turn refused any information and treated me like I was trouble for asking for basic honesty.

She told me that she hadn’t talked to anyone in years and claimed I was imagining things. She told me not to drag her into my drama. She said it was unfair I brought anything up considering how well she treated me. She said it was a necessary evil to triangulate my brother in because he said I hated my mom for some of the things she did. They both decided I shouldn’t go because I might say something.

So are you with me on this? She claims a bunch really damning things about my mom that involves her current partner and is absolutely dead set on me not meeting the man, at my mother’s cremation , or having much of a presence in my family. She was trying to control my image and how I show up in family in a very negative way. It's kind of funny she accuses me of lying, and my mom of controlling the narrative when she does the exact same things herself.

Could it be she’s acting like that because she hasn’t actually been truthful and might be uncomfortable if I discover a few things I didn’t know about?

The nerve to actually start drama and then turn around and accuse me of it.

I said it seemed deceitful that she claimed she hadn’t talked to them in years but then acted like she had a direct conversation with him during my mother’s cremation. I said it seemed very deceptive and disrespectful and kind of disingenuous to act that way, and call it kindness.

The lady lost her ****. She called me pathetic, crazy, and said I was exactly like my mother. She accused me of being in a psychotic episode and just dished out a bunch of ad hominem attacks. She said she was going to have me charged with harassment.

Nothing I said reached the level of Karen that she did.

She brought up how I threatened her with abandonment if she ever gave my address to my mother. She retold the story as if I approached her unsolicited and said, “if you ever give my address to my mother I’ll disown you.” She swore up and down she didn’t know where my mother lived and knew nothing about her life. Again that’s quite different from the things she claims to know about my mom.

The reality is she approached me and said she almost gave my address to my mother. She specified address. I laughed and said omg I would disown you. Why?”

The woman could barely contain her rage at me because I had boundaries. I had to explain why handing out my address to someone she essentially called a pedophile enabler is bad.

She retold that like I attacked her with that information.

Her actions don’t really belie an honest person. You provoke, triangulate and bring up subjects to deliberately trigger and then you use that to isolate me?

Honestly ***** my family.