So....

There were a few things done to infringe on our bubble in the past week, including some slow drive-bys, and leaving things in the mailbox. Not threatening things, but random, and a note on the front door.

That rattled my daughter quite a lot. I drove her into school yesterday and walked her right into the guidance office.

They have a guidance counselor there who is actually a fully licensed psychologist, a Dr. of psychology, with a private practice.

As it turns out, my daughter has been going to this counselor regularly since last spring.

The counselor, no lie, has a specialty in families that have a narcissistic or BPD parent. She asked me a few questions during our meeting, and then said:

"Covert narcissism and borderline personality disorder are comorbid. I have no doubt she has these personality disorders.. There is no cure and they will never get better. I've been working with your daughter for the deep wounds she has from growing up in your home. You're a good man. I already know that. Don't try to save your wife, don't try to get through to her. There needs to be 100% no-contact to put a bubble around your kids to keep your wife's disordered emotions, emptiness, and anger from being put onto them. Your daughter needs years of stability to feel safe. You need to keep educating yourself in any way you can about these disorders, and rely on that and people around you to ensure you don't go back to trying to connect with her."


RDMercer