Maybe a support group for parents of children with ADD? Then you could trade ideas and information and get support for the challenges you and your kids face.

I found there is a support group that is free right where I work for adults with ADD. I might go one of these times. So look around and you may find one for parents. You can ask your doctor or the ADD expert who diagnosed your kids for info on support groups.

Another idea might be to go see a therapist who has a speciality in ADD. This would be for support and information for yourself. My therapist recommended such a person for me (for adult ADHD) as something that might be helpful. I looked into this therapist and found he ran support groups as well as provided individual counseling with skills training. I didn't go see him, but it was nice to know he exists in case I decide to see him later. Perhaps you could find someone similar to counsel you. Even if short-term, it could be helpful in not only providing support, but ideas for solving problems.

A very good friend of mine has 2 sons with ADD. One took medication and is now almost ready to graduate college. He came off the meds sometime in high school and did OK. The younger one took meds for a while but came off them sometime in middle school because the side effects were so negative. He had trouble sleeping, he couldn't gain weight, so he was a wispy boy, and got pushed around a lot by the brawnier boys. And this meant he couldn't play on the football team because he couldn't gain weight. He just didn't like his personality either and begged his mom to come off the drugs. What do you say to a child who says, "mom, please don't make me take those drugs"? Such a dilemma. Anyway, he did come off the drugs and struggled throughout high school. He is barely passing his classes and barely graduating this spring. He did get to play football, though, and loved it. And he has been happy to be more his true personality, than how he was when taking the stimulants. What will he do now that he is out of school? My friend found no support for managing ADD without meds. The philosophy of her HMO was once diagnosed, the child needs meds. There was no support for skills training, behavioral modification, support groups, and other non-drug interventions. They were basically left on their own if they didn't use meds.

I don't know if that information is helpful or not. Such hard decisions for parents to make and such difficult challenges no matter what.