It is... I'm very curious what she will say.

Okay, I admit, you can't see that. Your point is valid. But there is a real reason why I seem not positive at all here. It is because, in this forum, I search for support and pieces of advice. If you saw me in my daily life, you'd definitely prove that I am positive when I am around other people, for example. But I understand it's hard to feel it here, where people want to deal with their issues.
I have some experience when people said (usually to other people and they told me) that it was fun chatting to me, a cheerful guy in a good mood who has interesting things to say. And I was actually struggling around those times, but thinking positively in such occasions.

Maybe I didn't write it correctly. I don't think there is something against me, it rather feels that nothing in my life reflects my effort. I know life isn't fair, but at least one of those things I care about would be nice.

Yes, I understood what you meant with mindfulness. I may look into it again, but I can't rely now that it will work as a coping mechanism.

I'm not sure about which town you are writing. If it's the town close to my home, I don't like it because I don't feel safe there, people are often hostile when you come for their service, the traffic is awful... And since I'm abroad, I don't have time to spend it at the very few places which are better.
If it's the town where I should attend a concert in two months, it is a beautiful city, but I don't like overcrowded streets, you always have to be very careful about pickpockets. And I was there so many times on vacations that I don't enjoy it anymore.
And to both of them applies that I don't like big citties.

No, don't delete those, you are supportive in some way. Despite not finding anything what could help me actually solve my problems, I appreciate that you reply to me and you actually try to understand what's happening.