Thanks everyone, for your sound comments and advice.

There's been an interesting development. My brother phoned me yesterday on his way home from work. It appears he's been on receiving end of mother's attitude twice this week. Both times, he said he raised his voice. All over fact that we made arrangements without consulting her about next dental appointment. I'm away on holiday so can't take her. Brother quite happy to step in, arranges work schedule around it. Apparently, he's also told her a few "home truths" too.

Will be interesting to hear her take on this. I've decided to go on Saturday, partly because of what my brother has said and also to see if mother "takes over" again. Still don't feel 100% but a psychological improvement after yesterday's chat.

Family life is never smooth, but this has been a constant in my life for as long as I can remember. My brother agreed when I said it's not just since she's got old.

Tomorrow will be interesting!