Ughhhh it’s been a long day. I woke up at 5am. It’s 5:30pm now. I head out in about 40 minutes to get the bus to work. Idk why I’m dreading it so much. It’s just 4 hours. My anxiety is just bad today. I took a propranolol earlier. I might take another one before I go. I can take up to two a day. The idea of quitting keeps floating around in my head when I’m thinking negatively but I know I shouldn’t. It’s just stressful. Maybe some day it will get less stressful. Idk. I haven’t been able to relax or focus on anything all day today because of anticipating work tonight. So I didn’t really do much. I played a game of magic the gathering with my bf but that’s about it. And did laundry.

I just have to keep telling myself it’s 4 hours. Then I can come home and relax and not have to go back till Tuesday.

Is it weird that every shift I think in my head to myself that I will quit after this shift. It gives me relief oddly enough even though I don’t end up quitting. Telling myself at every shift that I can quit and never come back if I want makes it a little easier to deal with day by day

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