And all the insight is upon the rest of the group to shame me (For having no shame)... Here it seems like I'm narcissistic or something, without empathy..

I'm trying... to help. And you guys have a distaste for me.

Cuz I want to go into every dimension. I am traumatized.. But as the autist criminal millionaire friend said "I don't understand how you mention such terrible things that happened to you, with such a positive attitude"

And the things didn't sink in until later - I realized what happened, and felt 100x dysphoria of knives in my eyes and back.

But as I said, DPDR... Dissociation and anxiety feels overwhelming.. It's the most torture I've went through... So I get it..

But if you guys don't understand - Like if I have to constantly be in that state to be seen as acceptable, then I leave. As I've said, many times. But then you all say that you like me - You do not. I am too edgy. Therefore evil. And haven't read enough books - Or have been able to prioritize anything, goals etc.

Cuz I was too sensitive and autistic to handle authority, and was trapped in a basement for many years.

Speak truth please. I deserve it for possibly accidentally harming BB.



If the mods want to ban me, fine. That's their decision. But until then, I will stay - Unless you all finally speak truth about the possible things I deserve that are bad about me. A worthless, constantly lacking of self awareness, person that deserves Avoidant PD.

A heartless monster, seen by some (Of only my own interpretation).. Or just all things that I'm not.. And then, I go to other places, and it's fine.. It's like reality is a transforming machine - Or there's rooms where I go into, and perception is 100% different. My family for example sees real me - At work? No. Online? More realistic. But not here, or when I was immature.

But you all have known me when I was immature.

I'm sure it's no big deal - But I try. It's not enough though. I know that for sure. Again, sorry BB (If I am right - What matters is for you to feel safe. Forget about me, if I am accidentally causing any trouble. I don't want to harm anyone).