Mouse, I thought an interesting aspect to your dream was that the sex was oral and therapy is oral too. And recently you posted about taking all of you to T, not holding back; the freezing/freezer made me think of holding back, thoughts freezing and unable to be spoken.

I get so hurt when I am feeling something about T and tell her and then she turns it around, back to me, repels it as if she is rejecting me, and makes it about my wants and needs and feelings.

The "holding on" to good feelings about T... I hear it and it sounds logical, but when I'm wanting and longing for physical holding / touch, I just can't imagine that being able to "hold on" to good feelings would feel as satisfying as the fantasy of being held/touched/comforted. I shake my head, yes that would be good to be able to hold on to the good feelings. But then when I can't do it, it sounds absurd and impossible and unsatisfying.