@insideoutsider you make a good point about the safety plan-thanks for this. I've never actually made one but will try to find the time to talk about this with both my pdoc and counselor.

@Sunflower123 I'm sorry you're going through a tough time.

@Aurelius710 I hope your back feels better soon! Back injuries are the worst...

I saw both my pdoc and my counselor today (just a coincidence that this happened). My pdoc said, in general, I should probably start to see him more often going for even 2 months between appointments doesn't seem to work well. I'm not sure exactly what this will look like yet. Step 1: get lithium in my system. He switched me from risperidone to this. When I was first diagnosed a couple of years ago, my first psychiatrist prescribed me this but took me off it because it didn't make my s. thoughts go away. I don't remember having many side effects so, hopefully, that will be the case this time. I take my first dose tonight and see my pdoc in about 2.5 weeks so we'll see what happens.

I told my counselor I feel like I'm just surviving-she said she disagrees because I am still able to teach which is a very important job that can make a significant difference in my students' lives.

I'm grateful to have today off-I'm giving myself permission to do some things for me before working on some teacher tasks. There are some things on my personal to do list, but they can wait until this weekend.

Have a good day everyone! May you get what you need.