A psychological game is being played on me by admins cuz of who I am.

No one sees my unique perspectives on drug use here - And still stigmatize what is considered a mental illness. I don't even agree with liberal "Drugs should be legal etc". I can't even mention specific controlled substances in Roll Call (Even though they are decriminalized here).

They are trying to save their ***, but also say "We won't delete your account, cuz you'll just make another one - So just log off and don't come back".

It's cuz I deleted my account every 6 months many times in the past (Cuz I was paranoid). All of my information is left on here, so I just continue posting.

And I don't feel welcome, don't feel safe here. I am an outcast, and want my account deleted. Everyone is just a bunch of infinite Rubicks cubes anyways. It doesn't even matter.

I've explained everything almost every day, and still no one gets it. Or they have had bad experiences with family members - Or just simply judge others for self medicating. I know it's my fault - Like one sec..;

"I remember in rehab, it was so boring and everyone was watching TV + I had to talk to people, so I went to bed as early as possible - The psychiatrist put me on "Nozinan" (Like Seroquel, but really dirty), increased the dose 8x times. He said "If you're waking up 10 times during the night, you need a sleeping pill (But a non-addictive sleeping pill) and I go to bed at midnight - Idk why you don't do that" and I was like "You took me off the stimulant - I'm too tired to exercise my mind during the day, for it to deserve a good sleep at night" - And now (On stimulant)? - I don't wake up ONCE at night and I sleep a long time. I'm not stoopid. But psychiatrists are stupid, making me stupid, which makes them even more stupid, which makes me even more stupid. I had to mature.. Anyways, just a thought..

Yknow what.. All of what I went through, of course didn't have to happen, but the psychiatrists could have made any decisions. I did this to myself."

And I'm okay with that. I've been abused, neglected and isolated. I'll get better, just delete my account. I was 16, frontal lobe wasn't developed.