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Troy said:
Here's a question for Jennie ... If I should be cautious about telling the "whole story" to non-combat ppl, what does that say about the stories I'm posting here? Are they too graphic? And if they are, just where can I go to tell these stories.
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I believe this forum has addressed this issue with the requirement of using the trigger
icon to warn people to read at his/her own risk.
I doubt any of your posts were too graphic or admin would have contacted you about your posts.
I don't think you need to be so cautious in this one "combat ptsd" forum as long as you warn others with a trigger icon any serious stories you post.
I think the whole purpose of these forums is much like journaling, but done in a less private manner. Sometimes you can connect with others if timing is right. Certain posts just seem to call out to certain people to be read. It's all quite mystical.
Although, sharing your story face to face with some ... you may need to use discretion and wisdom. I've dumped my issues on one or two persons and it took me a really long time to realize there needed to be balance in the relationship. PTSD is very intense. Thank goodness these forums do not require any balance. It can be all about me if I want it to be; or I can hide and lurk; or I can focus on the needs of others...that's therapeutic!
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Troy said:
The combat ptsd forum mentioned in the post criticized someone for telling the story. Said they were looking for sympathy. As though a rape victim came here and just posted the story. The guy said that sympathy had no place in the ptsd arena and went on and on about it. As a newbie reading his notes, I felt like both he and I are jerks. I must be a jerk for telling the stories, and he must be a jerk for telling me that that would be a form of looking for sympathy.
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Well, we all are human. It's unfortunate there's occasional unsupportive posts here. I don't know anything about that particular issue you mention but if that guy was a vet, maybe he was applying the "suck it up" attitude? In the theater you do need to suck it up, but off duty the rules to the game of life change.
When I was in the service I knew the rule was don't talk about personal issues. No one was there for me. When I first asked for help, I was denied counseling. When I first displayed tears to my supervisor, she told me how unprofessional I was acting. That is what happens in the military. Sucking it up made me suffer more because I needed to talk about what was going on in my mind and have no fear regarding my thoughts and emotions. It wasn't the trauma per se that destroyed my spirit, it was the learned behavior of the military to repress emotions that caused my PTSD. Undoing all that brainwashing has been a huge task. It really is okay to have the thoughts and feelings. I don't need to escape from this world. I don't need to numb myself.
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Troy said:
That's the kind of response I would expect from a T. -- "You get no sympathy here, bub." .... WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY! We don't even want to tell these stories. We don't even want to remember the stories. We wish ...
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Well, there's all kinds of shrinks. They're supposed to have empathy but not all do. Sometimes they burn out and keep seeing patients because that's their job and they need income.
If you ever decide on talking to a counselor, interview him/her before you decide to even tell your story. I personally like the more holistic folks, the ones into relaxation and meditation, etc., so I can learn to live comfy in the here and now.
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Troy said:
The only shrink I ever encountered tried to put me on a psych ward when all I needed was a little understanding, just a little.
It was all about an unqualified aide insisting that he would change my bandages, having to ask me what he should do first, what stuff he needed, and he didn't even wash his hands before reaching for my wounds ... and I refused to let him work on me. Does that sound like psych ward material to you? It was that simple.
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Sounds like your boundaries were violated.
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Troy said:
How can we enter a forum like this and be always vigilant that we'll say the wrong thing, that we'll be politically incorrect, that what we say might sound like we're looking for sympathy? I've been silent so long that I can't even voice these things. The memory resides in my body and comes out through my finger tips as they range across the keyboard.
I don't want to hurt anyone with these stories. I already feel like a creep spilling the beans about things of honor (or dishonor - I don't know anymore).
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I don't think you need to be vigilant here, except about posting personal private info. There are basic PsychCentral rules but if we break them, and admin will let us know, in that case, just apologize and accept it. But I think it is perfectly okay to make mistakes. Part of the PTSD rage is compulsivity.
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Troy said:
You don't have to answer any of the questions posed here. They just had to come out. Actually, I'm on the verge of deleting all of these posts. It's way out there for me, and the permanence of it all is making me way too nervous. It often seems like it would be easier to keep the memories buried and not tell anyone, ever.
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I do the same thing...worrying about what I write. Good thing Psych Central allows us that freedom to delete content.