I'm just keeping showing up every shift, despite anxiety, panic, despite stress, despite rude customers, despite the dread I feel before every shift, just keep going and keep building experience. I've been an employee there for one month and 11 days so far, so nearly a month and a half, that's pretty cool. I hate it, but it is something to do I guess. If I get fired someday I'll just try to find another job and just keep building the experience and resume up. I have to not be so hard on myself for not meeting my own high expectations, I'm not perfect, and I went from never having a job to having one and somehow managing to keep it and getting experience. This is a miracle. That I haven't walked out yet and given up. And I've wanted to on way more than one occasion. Something is keeping me from doing that. Idk what. It's not enjoyment from the job keeping me from leaving, it's basically feeling somewhat responsible and not wanting to screw things up with my first job. Maybe someday I'll finish my associates degree and get a better type of job. As much as I hate working here, and I do, I don't hate working in general, I like being active and contributing, it feels good. It sucks but it's also good at the same time if that makes sense.

I don't see myself ever being able to handle full time work due to my anxiety and mental health, but I can manage part time