Art - hope you don't mind the response.... my response to "just do it" when I'm not sure between a choice... is "just do which one?" Leave or recommit?

I'm staying for a reason and I want to leave for a reason. I know you went through the concept of if something isn't a for sure yes, then it's a no theory. My ex-T (look I said that without crying) would pick the one that she thought I didn't want and ask me how I'd feel if that happened. In my case around something like this, how would I feel if I left my relationship - got a divorce. And no matter how many times I fantasize about a life being different; the concept of divorcing my wife; her not being there - is like a part of me being cut off or ripped out. I miss what we had and would love to get it back. So I hold out, hoping that some how, some way we'll figure out what will make things be different (possibly both of us being done with menopause -- would be helpful ).

How would you feel if you were to decide on divorce or your husband came to you and said he wanted one?

Do you know your reason for staying?

I don't think it is as simple as "just do it" until you know which you really want to do.