chasing that wagon is so exhausting after falling off so hard.

my fiance is now my ex and my addictions have been my way to cope.

i didn't want to relapse, ended up in the hospital in another state that didn't have my records. therefore, have no clue i shouldn't have certain drugs. well, i got some. in order to negate wanting that particular substance, i have done other substances.

losing my relationship, i've fallen pretty hard. substances and stupid ****. not thinking about consequences. if i do consider them, i decide i don't care.

i hate this. i hate me.