The improvements I was slowly gaining since starting lithium on Tuesday have completely disappeared. The smallest thing put me into a complete rage yesterday and I haven't been able to shake it. If anything, it's just getting worse.

For this reason, I'm thinking about taking tomorrow off of work and calling my pdoc to see if he'd consider (if he has the ability to do this) writing a note for me to give my boss to get me out of an overnight field trip commitment I have coming up. I have no desire to have this kind of conversation with my boss, and am terrified if/how my boss might look at me/my ability to work at the school differently because of this. Stigmas about this stuff suck.

At the same time, if I'm not doing better by the time of the trip, I'm worried I won't be able to keep myself together or handle whatever challenges come up (even if minor) while on the trip. Or, what if my symptoms get worse while I'm there and I can't get to his office, my counselors office, and/or the pharmacy (depending on what might be needed).

It's just so hard to know what to do...