Quote:
Originally Posted by June08
The improvements I was slowly gaining since starting lithium on Tuesday have completely disappeared. The smallest thing put me into a complete rage yesterday and I haven't been able to shake it. If anything, it's just getting worse.
For this reason, I'm thinking about taking tomorrow off of work and calling my pdoc to see if he'd consider (if he has the ability to do this) writing a note for me to give my boss to get me out of an overnight field trip commitment I have coming up. I have no desire to have this kind of conversation with my boss, and am terrified if/how my boss might look at me/my ability to work at the school differently because of this. Stigmas about this stuff suck.
At the same time, if I'm not doing better by the time of the trip, I'm worried I won't be able to keep myself together or handle whatever challenges come up (even if minor) while on the trip. Or, what if my symptoms get worse while I'm there and I can't get to his office, my counselors office, and/or the pharmacy (depending on what might be needed).
It's just so hard to know what to do...
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I'm really sorry you are going through this. What dose of Lithium are you on? I also started Lithium quite recently, but not as recently as you. I've been on it about 7 weeks now. It's quite the rollercoaster ride for me too. I did start at a very low dose - 150 mg - because I was worried about side effects. I'm still only taking 300 mg, but I'm about to increase to 450 mg. I have been all over the place on it so far, ranging from, wow, this is really helping me, to, I need to get off this drug right now. Currently I'm in the middle of those two extremes and I do want to stay on it a while longer, and I really hope that, once I get to a good dose for me, it will keep me stable. I do worry a lot about side effects though. I'm already having some side effects even at a low dose......I should add, I also take an SSRI (Zoloft).
I guess my point is, I've been on Lithium 7 weeks and I still feel I'm only at the very beginning of learning how this medication is going to effect me. So it's still really, really early days for you too.
I also found that Lithium increased my irritability and rage at the beginning. I even wondered if it was making me hypomanic. I found it really energizing, but not necessarily in a good way. That has worn off now and it definitely isn't making me more angry anymore. Anger is one of my big issues so I can't be on something that makes me more angry!
I think that because you have only been on it a very short time, there is still definitely hope that things will even out. Definitely if you are able to take a little time off work and certainly if you are able to get out of the overnight trip, that sounds like a really good idea. I would definitely call your pdoc. I agree that the stigma sucks. But perhaps you don't have to give your boss the exact reason for taking time off? I don't know, but could you just have a generic "illness" and leave it at that?
Wishing you all the best!!