I still need the forum. My wish has been to stay out of it, to make it on my own, but that is not easy.

I am not good to live with guilt for not being grateful enough to my mother, not saying the right "things" in the right moment and so on. Yesterday that happened again. I did have an other opinion than my mother and told her so. (She told me a message that in the same time was her message about how we do things and then added something as if it was my fault that it was done otherwise).

I felt guilty when I went to bed yesterday and guilty this morning. Even if I try to use my CBT tools, I still struggle with the feeling of not being good enough and I have thoughts of likewise meaning.

I came here this morning because I felt I needed a door into others who suffer. Something about shared suffering ...

I went years to therapy and became supported on that my mothers way of relating to me was not the best one. And still I suffer in this relationship (from time to time).

I see that I wrote "from time to time". That means that "things" have become better. To see that helps a bit.

What I need to do now to try to overcome this guilt feeling is the following: Go to the bathroom for he morning hygiene, then eat something and then read in the Neuro-science book and repeating the CBT tools before I dress and run out of the house to start the day (get a kick start to help my mind to focus on something else).

Thank you for reading!