***trigger*** mention SI

My husband and I started couples counseling about a month ago with a female T who does marriage therapy.

My husband likes her which is good because he is therapy averse. We're making some progress but oddly this is affecting my individual therapy with T.

Part of that is because I have competing issues like trying to establish an identity individually and then working to repair an identity or role I already have with my marriage.

The two conflict trust me.

The confusing part is T...he has switched his stance on my marriage all of the sudden. Now I have a great guy versus two years of talking about how my husband doesn't "get me".

Part of my issues involve sexual orientation which is fine because my T specializes in that.

I feel like my T has taken a hard right on me and now I don't feel like I can work on some of the stuff we were talking about with him. He made me feel bad about a few things too and that wasn't fair either.

I'm wondering if he is worried that some of my acting out between sessions will come out in couples counseling and he'll be blamed. Of course that would be silly to think because I make my own decisions.

I'm guessing here but all of the sudden this switch went off and it is making me feel more trapped than I already did.

I don't know, lately T and I are a mess...I'm considering giving up the couples counseling because perhaps I should find out who I am before couples stuff.

I am so confused!! Anyway, by the end of my session, I was upset because I wanted to talk about my SI feelings that I wrote about and I ended up kind of blurting it out at the end.

T's advice was be grateful for my great husband, child (well that is true), we both have good jobs and a nice house.

WHAT?? Someone please help me figure this one out!!!