Well I flipped out last night for no reason. Couldn't sleep because I thought my family was going to die in a car accident today and then where does that leave me. Stuck in a place where I'm terrified to go anywhere and terrified to stay home, unable to do daily life but unwilling to let anyone in. Still have a year till I get my new service dog. My elderly SD I can't take outside by myself. So I'm scared. I didn't expect to be this dependent on people and it gets worse in the winter. There's so much anxiety relying on others. Then they didn't even go out today. So I finally combed my rats nest. It's been a couple of months since I combed my hair. I got a really good detangler and a detangling brush and went at it. Didn't even have to cut it this time. Now if I can drag myself to the shower.

I don't know if I'm depressed or just unmotivated. I've been this way since latuda/trintilix combo I started when moving here. I no longer take care of the bills or assistances forms. I don't even know my bank account info. Or passwords to anything. I need to save about $200 a month for the next year for my service dog. Her harness is about $600 and training is about $2k.