I feel bad. It's been building for a few days. There are some reasons for the shift. And my general inability to cope with difficult emotional challenges is making it worse. I feel so down on myself. I feel so down generally. It started with feeling very angry about certain things that have happened recently. I know myself and the anger is just a cover up for, and a way not to feel, the pain beneath. Anger can feel really good in that way. It's powerful. Today the anger has completely gone and I feel powerless and incredibly sad, in addition to the regular depression.

It's times like this I question whether my psychiatric medication is doing anything at all. It sure doesn't feel like it today. I have no idea what to try next. Or even what to do next.

PS: I'm not in any danger or crisis for my life. I'm just being honest about how I feel. I've felt like this so many times before so it's not new. I am safe. I also very much appreciate this space where I can say honestly that I feel really, really bad today and I know i won't be judged.