And....

Sat night I ran into a semi-friend of mine. I would call her a more distant friend/acquaintance. We've spoken on the phone a few times during my abusive marriage. She provided support to me regarding the abuse, even while on my honeymoon. But we have not hung out 1:1 ever, and I only see her at music events, where we do have conversations from time to time.

However, over the years that I've known her, this woman I find to be very hot and cold towards me and sometimes harsh with her words. We are on different pages and are of a different class of people. She has an edge about her and has no filter.

So the other night, I ran into her and we were talking. She said something that I took offense to. She compared my work to another woman's work, and she told me "you're inspiring, yet this woman is REALLY INSPIRING". I tool offense, and felt like it was a put down... why compare my work to another woman's work? Why couldn't she have said, "you're inspiring, and so is this person, have you met her?"

So, I got upset. I tried to approach her husband about it, but he got mad at me for approaching him about this, he became visibly agitated and very excitable, so I walked away from him, telling him I am walking away. He said that is best.

She then approached me to talk after I had tried to talk to her husband. She said, first of all, do NOT go to my husband to discuss anything about her... to approach her about it directly. Ok, fair enough. So I told her, look, I took offense to what you said, and then confronted her about sometimes being harsh and very hot and cold. Her reply was that I was being confrontational, and then she accused me of always wanting to "talk" when drinking. Admittedly, I was tipsy while trying to discuss this with her, but I was being calm and also very direct. She admitted that several people have told her this, so it's not the first time someone has observed and reflected this behavior back to her.

The next morning, I sent her husband an apology message as well as to her for upsetting her. Her husband gave my message a heart, while she did not bother to reply, even though I saw that she had read my message early in the morning.

I was trying to smooth things over by being the bigger person and by extending an olive branch to both of them, separately.

So, once again, I am insulted by her behavior. The decent thing to have done is to give me the courtesy of a reply, AND an apology in return for insulting me and hurting my feelings. I had said in my note that I hope she and I are OK, after talking last night.

I am chalking this up to the fact that she and I are on very different wavelengths, and that she is not the calibre of person I wish to truly be friends with and associate with. She lacks class, in my opinion.

So, I am just simply going to avoid her in social scenes and will not converse with her anymore. That's my decision. She is an acquaintance that I do not care for... I do not appreciate hot and cold behavior nor do I appreciate insults and comparisons. Comparison is the thief of joy. I take a lot of pride in my work, I work hard, and I have a substantial following of people who appreciate my work. So, she can just go suck it, along with anyone else who feels the need to cut me down.