6 sessions and 2 weeks max left with L until she takes her leave.

And I'm so scared. Scared of G, scared of H being my main support again, scared of the holidays, scared of myself and my ability to keep myself safe.

It's been 10 years since I depended on H for emotional support, and last time he was controlling and abusive. I know he's got a lot better since then, and still I'm scared.

I decided on a second tattoo while L is gone. This one will represent us. It will be a single peony (her favorite flower) and a single stem hydrangea (one of my favorite flowers). I know she'll love it. I have another tattoo that represent our theraputic relationship and she loves that one, too.